On and Off the Course with Beth Pry

Do you feel that you are going in too many directions? Maybe you are not sure what to do next? Perhaps you feel so scattered that making a To-Do list seems way too daunting? Whether you are experiencing this in the office, on the golf course, or just at home, there is probably one culprit that is causing your distress. That pesky little concept, often tauted as admirable, will stop you dead in your tracks! What am I referring to, you may be wondering? Multi-tasking!!

How many of you are trying to do more than one thing at once? Have you noticed that you do not finish most of the projects that you started? Or do you notice that you get confused when you are doing more than one thing at once?

In our time starved world, it seems necessary to multi-task in order to use our time effectively. While this may be classified as notable, it certainly is not saving any time nor is it creating error-free work. Our brains are not put together to work on two things at once…at least not masterfully. I know you feel that you can talk on the phone and put on your make-up or chop veggies or clean your club head. And, I am sure that you can do both things at once…however, if you were being honest, how present are you to both? Are you REALLY paying attention to the person on the other end of the phone? Are you really able to do an excellent job with your make-up brushes, chopping knife, or club head bristle brush? I bet if you analyzed this and took a good look, you would notice that you are not doing both tasks to mastery. They may be completed, but not done to your best effort.

Besides not doing your best work, multi-tasking also causes stress and anxiety. When we do too many things, we are bound to get confused and overwhelmed. Aren’t there enough other things in your life to overwhelm you and confuse you? Why make matters worse? We were not created to do allow our brain to go in so many directions. We are at our best when we slow down, focus our attention on the task at hand, be present to what is happening, and do our best work!

Make your goal to take at least one activity a day that you normally would multi-task instead do it singularly and completely. Let me know how much more you accomplish.

How many times have you wished that your life circumstance had you in a different place, maybe even a different location than you currently reside?? I realized, as I browsed the latest fashion magazine, that I was pining to be dressed in couture, dripping in gems and parading down the Red Carpet. I caught myself as I was wishing to be someone famous, even though I am actually very happy with the life that I created. It is fun to dream and wish, dreams propel us forward toward our next goal. We need dreams to catapult us into the next phase of life. However, at one point do our dreams actually turn to envy and we find ourselves no longer happy with our circumstances?? This becomes very dangerous territory!

As we all know, we can not be somewhere other than where we are!! I know this is obvious and may be even a little annoying to hear, however, it deserves attention. When we wish and pine over how we WANT things to be instead of taking action to create the life we want, we are spinning our wheels into anxiety and frustration. Think of all the places in your life you wish we different…that you were someplace other than where you are….maybe your career, maybe your spouse, maybe the golf course, maybe your whole life! What we know is that nothing will change just by wishing and hoping.

So, take a moment to ponder why DO you want things to be different??? Why not enjoy the moment that you are currently in….even if that moment is not where you want to be!! What we know about life is this…if you wait just a moment, the tide will turn and life will look different than it does now. Perhaps the next moment will be more what you want it to be….you are the one that is in charge!

Has this ever happened to you, without warning or prompting, someone in your life (and it may be a close friend or not) begins telling you what is wrong with you and how you should change your life??? The worse part in many cases is that you did not go seeking the opinion that was forced on you. I am sure, for you, like myself, this is VERY disheartening. It is tough to hear what someone thinks, especially when you are not ready for it!

There are many reasons why someone would do this…and pose as help, when they are anything but that! One reason this is done is to make themselves feel better. Oh, isn’t it easier to look at what is wrong with THEIR life and not focus on our own?? Another reason someone may impose their feelings and beliefs on you is to be controlling. Perhaps you changing what they want you to change will benefit them in some way. For example, I had dated a man that told me that I MUST tell everyone I had previously dated that I am no longer available, whether I was in communication with them or not. Why would he want me to do this? So, he could feel a false sense of security….to make sure that nobody was going to steal me away from him. Of course, this controlling behavior never creates the outcome that you desire.

In fact, when we offer our opinion when it is not wanted, we isolate those around us. We cause the very person we were hoping to be closer to move away from us and to not feel safe with us.

Bottom line….if you want to keep those around you feeling safe when they are with you, the best bet is to keep your opinion to yourself, unless asked!

Have you noticed that the more you believe, are passionate and convicted, the quicker the outcome will show up?? This is really great if you are speaking positive things into your life!!! However, it is quite a different story when you are speaking and/or thinking negative things!

I have two quick examples that happened just the other day….
First, for the negative side….I was driving down the road, mostly enjoying my day, when a thought, a negative one, popped into my mind! I thought…you know it has been a LONG time since I have had a flat tire. Now, why in the world would I think something like this?? Maybe I saw someone that day stranded on the side of the road and it registered in my mind and I am now recalling it, or maybe someone warned me about my tires and I was just remembering that conversation. Whatever the reason I thought it, it was powerful and negative enough to cause a reaction! Yep, you guessed it!! I BLEW my tire out…right then and there!!!! On the side of the road…stranded!!! It all worked out fine, like it usually does, however, can you imagine how upset I was to think something and then it spontaneously happened!

Now, to speak of the positive side and how great it is when something wonderful comes from our thoughts….just yesterday, I was dreaming about how great it would be to have a regular column in a publication about the mental game of golf. I thought over and over how I would love to contribute to this ladies’ publication. Guess what happened? No, I did not blow another tire!! However, I got an invitation to be a contributing writer in that publication!!! No sooner did I say it, that the dream manifested into reality.

The bottom line is….notice what words you are saying….it will create a life full of wonderful things or a life full of miserable things!

Just say the Word!

Sometimes I wonder if it pays to be not only friendly but also a good listener.

When I meet a new person, I make a strong effort to ask probing questions, listen intently and create a connection so that I can recall this person in the future and have something brilliant to say when we meet again. Of course, I often wonder if this makes any difference at all. And, I am glad to say that it does matter.

While at a golf networking event (Orlando Social Golf), I met the organizer. I learned very quickly that we are both trying to penetrate the same market for similar purposes. I also discerned, from recalling past conversations with others, that he and I could help each other with our efforts. If I had not asked probing questions in all my business dealings or made an effort to recall something meaningful from the conversation, my introduction to Will would not have been so fruitful.

Do yourself a favor, learn to ask questions, really take the time to listen…and find something meaningful to remember. It is amazing what a difference that makes for others.

Oftentimes, I forget to focus on my dreams and instead focus on my goals instead.  Goals are boring!  Who likes to work toward a goal?  I know that I quit before I ever reach my goal.  However, when it comes to dreams, I will always fight to keep them alive!  Dreams feel good! Dreams are fun! Dreams are the juice of life!

Today, one of my dreams began to manifest…thanks to Scott Sterner of Loudmouth Golf.  He and I are going to work together to raise $10K for Eden Spa, a spa for those battling with cancer.  I made a commitment to raise this money and had no idea how I was going to do it! Then, I bump into Scott, in a very unlikely place, and share with him my dream.  And voila!  He has the solution! We are going to sell raffle tickets to win a psychedelic pimped out golf cart! And, the $10K raised will go to Eden Spa!  So easy and so fun!

I do believe if I thought of raising that money as a goal, I would not be in a fun mindset about it and may not have bumped into this old and dear friend that can help me help Eden!

What are you dreaming about?